Kidney Stone

In January, I got really sick in the middle of a big meeting. Thankfully the meeting was the last thing of the day so I went home. I spent the whole night throwing up and in incredible pain in my back and stomach.  After throwing up about 7 times, the pain subsided enough for me to fall asleep. The next morning, my back hurt, but the nausea had stopped and I felt better.

Then one month later, BAM! The pain is back. I was throwing up again and it was intense! Thankfully my fiance was with me and he rushed me to the emergency room.

After some tests, they told me that I had a VERY large kidney stone (large is considered to be 2-2.5mm and mine is 4-6mm!). The stone is barely smaller than the tube it needs to travel down from my kidney to bladder, which is why it hurts so bad. Unfortunately, it only has traveled 4 inches of the 12 it needs to. So I was admitted to the hospital over night and given lots of drugs. Then they put me under and installed a stint so that my kidney could drain. The stone had blocked the kidney so it was causing the left kidney to fail. After the installation of the stint, I was sent home.

The next day I had an appointment with the doctor who said that I was doing good (ie no infection), and scheduled me for another proceedure the next day. They put me under again and then sent pulsewaves through my body in an attempt to break up the stone.

The next day I felt significantly better, though still very uncomfortable since the stint was still in place. Each day, I felt better and better, though I still had trouble walking, sitting and using the bathroom. The hope was that the stone broke into peices and in the days that followed, I'd pass parts of the stone. I drank lots of water, and used a straining device when peeeing. I didn't feel like I passed any part of the stone and I didn't catch anything in the strainer.

A week after the pulewaves, I got an xray to see if the stone remain intact, if it'd fratured but remained, or if (best case) it shattered into dust and has been passed painlessly. Unfortunately, it was as big and unmoving as ever. So I was scheduled two days later for a surgical proceedure to remove it.

They shoved a camera, a laser and a wire up into me and blew the thing up, removed it peice by peice. They also installed a new stint, this time it was tied to a string so that after a few days, they could just pull it out.

I needed a couple of days to recover and then they slid the stint out. I immediately felt better with the stint out and the stone gone. I went to work two days later and have been trying to get back in the groove.

This weekend is my bridal shower and I would like to be 100% by then. Next weekend is suppose to be my very first 10K, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it. I was on track with my training and feeling really strong before the stone and now it's been weeks since I've ran. I'm going to run a bit this weekend and see how I feel.

Then the weekend after that..... I get married!!!  :)

Surprise finding at OBGYN appointment

Yesterday I had my annual visit with my OBGYN. I was actually looking forward to it because I was sure that it would be a super great visit. I had lost 60# since last year's visit. I was ready for the doctor to be super impressed with me.

They do all the things you would expect an OBGYN to do for a 28 year old, including a breast exam. They found a lump. I'm being sent to get a mamogram and an ultrasound.

I'm trying not to freak out. There is zero family history so I've got that on my side. It's more than likely nothing, but still something that needs to be looked at.

The next available appointment isn't until December 7th, so I wait......

REALLY rejoining life...

Just the thought of dating someone was an overwhelming thought a year ago. Even six months ago, I would have been hesitant, though not ruling it out entirely. Now, I feel like I'm really ready.


When Mac left, I was scheduled to go and get my annual girly exam that December. Given my emotional state, I was in no condition to do that. Plus, why did I need my BP refilled? My fiance was dead.


JG and I have been taking things really slowly, which I really appreciate, but I won't lie, I've thought about it (he's an amazing kisser!).... So I decided, it's better to be prepared and not need it than the other way around!


It was a big deal for me to even consider the possiblity of being with someone else. My mind was so trained to Mac; He's the only guy I've ever been with and the only guy I ever wanted to be with. Obviously when Mac disappeared, I knew that at somepoint, there would be someone else, but I couldn't get use to it, nor could I imagine wanting someone else. Now, I can.


Mac, who??


So as much as I hate doctors, I marched myself in there and got it done. Also, I decided that since Mac was such a big liar about everything else and he was essentually living a double life, I need to get a few more tests done. In my investigation, I have never found any evidence or hint that he was anything but completely faithful to me. Also, we always used condoms in addition to BP (I was not about to get pregnant, hell no!). However, I still don't want to take the chance that he was also running around and exposing me to goodness knows what!


I'm having them run the full spectrum of tests including HIV. I should have all my results in after the New Year. If you haven't been tested yourself in a while, go get one! Get one for your own piece of mind and out of consideration for your partner or future partner. Ok, I'm off my Soap box now. Everyone, go get tested!

My therapist thinks I could make a lot of money

writing a book/play or soap opera about my family! lol.

Today was my first session and we didn't even get into anything related to Mac. She wanted to know about my family dynamic, family names and relations, etc.

I know it takes a while to actually get into the subject that you are there to talk about, because the backstory and setting need to be established first, but I wish that we could have done the backstory and setting on my thing with Mac since that's my first priority. My family, I've already figured them out and know what to do about that. And now that I've got Grandmother settled, I don't even think about them. I need help processing this Mac thing.

I've got another appointment Monday evening and hopefully we'll finish up the family stuff so we can move on to what I really need help with.