I almost married my father

You know that old saying, ' girls look for men that remind them of their father?" I thought I'd escaped; that I, like usual, broke the mold. But today I realized that I almost married a man just like my dad.

Sure, they looked nothing alike, they had very different life perspectives, they had very different interests and hobbies. But they were the same in the important way. They both lie, hide, manipulate and cheat. They both find good, honest, hardworking, caring women who will bust their butt while they do nothing.

Today I saw so clearly that my father and Mac are essentially the same guy. They are both really bad liars who are completely careless in hiding their mess. They both require that their women trust them so that they are blinded. But once the trust is gone, it's so easy to see what they've been up to.

They both lack the strength of character and moral compass to own up to their mistakes, admit their lies, and try to make amends.

They both have gone from being cared for by their mother to being cared for by their wives, without really ever learning to be on their own.

Neither of them will come clean, even a little bit, unless they are forced into a corner. Once in the corner, they admit just enough to get out.

Men like my father and Mac are the most dangerous kind. they are decent enough people, but at the heart are complete cowards. They are too afraid to live their own life and learn who they are. Instead they live off of the women in their lives and do the bare minimum to keep them happy enough to stay with them. Unfortunately for the woman, they miss out on having a true partner and that is the most dangerous part of men like them.

I hope there are some decent men out there somewhere.......

My therapist thinks I could make a lot of money

writing a book/play or soap opera about my family! lol.

Today was my first session and we didn't even get into anything related to Mac. She wanted to know about my family dynamic, family names and relations, etc.

I know it takes a while to actually get into the subject that you are there to talk about, because the backstory and setting need to be established first, but I wish that we could have done the backstory and setting on my thing with Mac since that's my first priority. My family, I've already figured them out and know what to do about that. And now that I've got Grandmother settled, I don't even think about them. I need help processing this Mac thing.

I've got another appointment Monday evening and hopefully we'll finish up the family stuff so we can move on to what I really need help with.