Fat Free Whipped Topping....mmmmmm

It's summer time! And what's more summery than a big bowl of fresh berries and whipped topping?? I LOVE whipped topping in the summer and all year round. Fat Free whipped topping is low points, just as tasty and versitile.

I only get the kind in the tubs because I find the ones in the cans taste like chemicals and are very gross.

My favorite ways to enjoy whipped topping:

• 1-8oz container of FF whip topping + 1/4cup creamy Peanut Butter. Stir. Great dip for banana's or apples. Also top off that frozen whole grain waffle with some and add a banana on top.
• Fresh sliced strawberries, raspberries or blackberries with a dolop of topping.
• And this Emily Bites recipe: http://www.emilybites.com/2012/06/chocolate-fruit-dip.html
• Frozen Peanut Butter Cups: Whisk together 1 Cup of the Cool Whip with 1/3 c. Reduced fat Peanut Butter until thoroughly mixed. Fold in rest of the 8oz tub of Cool Whip until mixed. Spoon into 12 foil cupcake holders. Drizzle 1 Tsp of light chocolate syrup over each cupcake. Freeze overnight. 
• Mock ice cream sandwiches: Mix a package of sugar free pudding (any flavor) an 8oz container of whipped topping. Spread between two lite graham crackers and freeze. I sometimes add the mini chocolate chips or a squirt of hershy syrup to the mix also.   Works without the pudding mix.                                

How do you use whipped topping?

Great Weekend!

I had a great weekend. Saturday I got to sleep in (only 8:30, but I'll take it). I went running at my college track as part of my 10K training plan. I ran into a few employees who I hadn't seen in a while who were very complimentary of my new body.

I went home and took a shower, got dressed and went shopping! I went to Old Navy since they were having a big sale and a had a coupon on top of that. However, much to my disappointment, I found nothing I liked. But right next door is a Kohl's and I desperately needed a new bra.

My current bra was on the smallest clasp it could be, but it just wasn't enough. anytime I'd lift my arms or move around a bit, it would come up and over and I'd have to tug it back down. I knew I had to get a smaller bra, but I was hoping my cup size would remain the same. At my heaviest, I was a solid B+/ C- and now I've shrunk down to a B/B- and I was afraid I'd end up in an A cup. Thanksfully, the girls are hanging in there! Still a B cup, I just needed a smaller size in inches. WHEW!

Also while I was there, I noticed there was a serious sale on running wear, so I had to go check it out. I got a new pair of running capris and a shirt in a size SMALL!! Yay me!! All for 40% off + Kohl's cash.

I also invested in two cute belts which are designed to belt at the smallest part of your waist and not through your belt loops. I'm hoping to use these on my shirts that are getting too big, so I can get a little more life out of them. Buying new clothes all the time gets very expensive.

Then I got to sleep in again on Sunday and I went to a party at a colleagues house. It was a 'sample party' in that there were several vendors of various things there. A no pressure situation, but lots to look at (Mary Kay, Scentsy, Thirty-one, Silpada, etc). There were a few colleagues whom I haven't seen in about two or three years and it was really funny.

Nancy arrives at the party and comes over to where Jean and I are talking. Nancy cuts in to say hello to Jean and then turns to me and says, "Hi, I'm Nancy," and Jean and I die laughing. The three of us, plus the colleague hosting the party, all sat on a Board for a few years together. And so Jean says, "Um, Nancy, you already know Kali...."  :)  This happened a few time while I was at the party, so it was pretty entertaining.

Then I got home and hubby and I finally tackled the garage!! Oh it needed it so badly! We literally pulled everything out of the garage and into the driveway/front yard. We made sections of related items (car care, gardening, tools, infrequently used kitchen gadgets, party furniture, etc) and finally organized it into a sensible arrangment. Further, we were able to isolate the items that we are posting on Craiglist into one central location.

Once those items are gone, you'll actually be able to pull a car into the garage!I think that might be the first time since hubby bought the house that this has happened!

The only thing that didn't go so great was my weekly weigh-in. I was doing really good this week and expecting to lose about 1.5#'s but then Sunday's sample party happened and I didn't have the self control to say "no" to the brownies.... three times. Ooops. So I think they were stil hanging on this morning when I weighed in, if you know what I mean.

Overweight & halfway!

YAY! I'm now officially overweight! I know, this sounds like a bad thing, but it's actually a good thing. I've now crossed the BMI line from obese into overweight. See? A good thing. I started this journey with a 39.2 BMI and I'm now down to 29.9!

The final goal will be to get into the "healthy/normal" zone. My current goal is to be around a few pounds around or directly at the healthy/underweight line, but we'll see. I'm not sure if that's even possible, considering my bone structure and I might look too thin before I get that low. For now I'm just focusing on little goals that don't seem so overwhelming.

I've lost 60# so far and not only did this change my BMI category, but it also marks the halfway point to my goal!
The next goal: 75# total loss; 15 #'s to go!
After that: Change BMI to "Healthy" ; 30#'s to go!

Officially Coming Out of the WW Closet & Health Update

So I finally did it. I told someone in my life about this leg of my journey; the WW/ weight loss journey. I had dinner with my friend Elise and told her that I was doing WW. She was really positive and encouraging. She even shared with me that she did WW many years ago. So far she has been the only one, besides my co-worker who is doing it too, that knows. This was a few months ago.

For me, to be officially out of the WW closet, I have to tell my fiance. I've been working on building up to it and figuring out how to bring it up.

Lately I've had some health issues. I went in for my annual OBGYN appointment and was told I needed a mamogram for an unusual lump. I also have to do a variety of blood tests every year because I have chronically underperforming kidneys and liver. And since there's a family history, I get my sugar levels and cholesteral checked too.

Yesterday, I went and got my mamogram. I was told that the radiologist would call me that evening to tell me the results. I got a phone call, but from my OBGYN who was calling to tell me that she isn't happy with my cholesterol and liver results. BUMMER. I was really hoping that this year they would be good. Since they haven't improved with the weight loss and it continues to be a chronic thing, I'm being sent to a liver specialist.

This morning I got a call from the radiologist who says that the mamogram looks fine. He still wants me to do a ultrasound, but is confident that it'll come back fine too. WHEW!

So my health has been a topic of conversation between my fiance and I. I figure it was a good time to tell him about WW, why I have been doing it and what I've learning. He was really supportive and even said, "maybe you can teach me some of what you've been learning." lol.

I'm officially out of the closet!

6 months of WW

I've now been on WW for 6 months. This is the longest amount of time that I have committed to losing weight, other than my adolescence which was more of a disorder than anything else.

I think this is because WW isn't a diet, it's a way of thinking about food and a lifestyle. I've made some very positive changes in how I think and respond to food. This is about a permanent change to my way of life and the development of a healthy lifestyle and relationship with food.

As I get older, I've come to realize how little my parents helped me to develop healthy eating attitudes and a taste for the nutritious. I've realized how much of my mother's issues with food and body image, have shaped mine and most importantly, I've realized that I don't want that for my own kids. If I have kids, I want them to understand what balanced eating is, appropriate portions, the understanding that treats are treats and not everyday foods, that exercise is a daily activity (even for grown ups) and that food fuels you to do the things you love to do, not food is a substitute for love. I want them to have an almost, "well, duh mom!" reaction when I talk to them specifically about these things; eating properly is second nature and they do it automatically.

Successes:
- I've lost 50 #'s!
- I have put on my jeans from my junior year of college! They are just now starting to get a little baggy.
- I've had to buy new undies since I can barely keep the old ones up!
- I've finally gotten under 200#'s which is a number I haven't seen in a long time! Since I know that it's common to experience a plateau around the 6 month mark, I wanted to get under this number before this day arrived.
- I ran a 5K in 42:15 which is an average of 13:38  minute/mile. Not too shabby!
- I bought a ski jacket in July that was too small (it was a GREAT deal), with the goal of it fitting by Xmas. It fits!!! I still need to shrink some more so that there's room for a few layers of clothing too, but it FITS!
- I have created cheater cards for dinning out that are always in my wallet. I can make good choices even for unplanned outings.
-I have been keeping my promise of rewarding myself for milestones.

Challenges:

- I have no clothes to wear! As I've been shrinking out of my clothes, I've been giving them away. I have very few clothes from my 'skinnier days'. I don't have a ton of money to be buying new clothes all the time, but I have to look presentable for work and some occasions.
- Eating out at smaller restaurants remains a challenge. I love that large restaurants are required to have nutritional information; it makes planning and tracking easier. Unfortunately, the smaller, mom and pop place's don't have this. I guess as best I can.
- It's getting cold outside and I'm getting lazy! As winter approaches, I find it hard to get out of my warm bed and freeze for 20 minutes while I wait for my body to warm up with my exercise. Combine that with the holiday food that is starting to roll out and I'm going to be in trouble!

Changes:

- My body is looking great! Everything keeps shrinking, except the boobs, thankfully (I don't have a lot of that to spare!). My hourglass shape is really coming into focus.
- I no longer think whole wheat bread is gross.
- I discovered that I like yellow squash
- I've revamped my recipe book to include all the quick and healthy foods I've discovered. I will keep this going.

Plans:
-I'm signed up to do another 5K in November. I want to do another in December and January so that I'm most likely to stay focused during the dangerous holiday time. Since I've already been slacking in the exercise, I need all the tools I can get to keep focused.
- I'm going to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in a week to celebrate my 2nd year anniversary with JG. I fear not fitting into the seats. Logically I know it'll be fine, but I still have that nagging fear.
- I'm going back to NYC for Xmas break and I'm planning on shocking JG's relatives!  If I stay on target, I will have lost nearly 70# since they saw me last year. I will be buying a few new pieces of clothes to show off my new body and to keep my wussy California body warm!
- Get a smart phone. Since I'll be in NYC for nearly 2 weeks without my own computer to log-on, I need a smart phone with a WW app so that I can track. I won't be able to weigh in since I'll be away from my scale, but at least I'll be able to track.
- Make a plan to deal with the NYC food. Last year, I thought I was going to explode with bagels and pizza and junk food. I swear, I didn't see a veggie or a fruit the entire time! I need to make a shopping list and shop the first day (though I remember the selection in the market being awful). My friend also told me about FreshDirect.com which apparently you can order fresh produce and they will deliver it any of the 5 boroughs. I'm going to check this out.
- I need to host or attend a clothing swap party to get some "new" clothes.
- I think it's time I tell those closest to me about this. They know I've been working really hard on myself these past few years, but I haven't let them in on this one facet. It might be time.

All in all, things are going really good. I'm not struggling to stay committed to eating well. Only occasionally will I have the craving to eat junk food and I can usually ignore it. I know that my body will not respond kindly if I indulge and I feel so much better when I give my body proper nutrition with occasional treats.

The circle is getting larger

I've mentioned before that I'm in this journey alone. I have no family or friends who know about the weight loss element of my journey. They know about my overall journey and struggle to rebuild and grow, following the abandonment of my fiance. They don't know about this new leg of the journey.

However the circle of people who know has actually grown from including only myself to two co-workers in the past few weeks.

The co-worker who gave me the shirt 'she was swimming in' has been talking about how unhappy she is with her body since she had her baby a year ago. Another co-worker went to WW years and years ago, learned what she needed and she's still very slim and trim. So this shirt co-worker has been pondering aloud joining WW since she's heard about our other co-worker's success and I think seeing me shrink has irritated her (even though she didn't know I was on WW). I recently told her that I was doing it with WW and that did it, she joined!

The past few weeks, there's another co-worker who've I've noticed has made some changes to her lunches. Going from Digorno pizza to WW box lunches. We struck up a conversation about the lunches, since I too eat frozen lunches everyday (It's my one cheat. I cook breakfast and dinner, everyday. Too lazy to pack a lunch). I'd been eating these lunches even before I joined WW because they are yummy, affordable and I can store a weeks worth of them in the work freezer; I can't ever forget my lunch at home.

Since we were in the middle of a crowded break room, I didn't want to ask her if she was on the program or just eating the yummy food. So I emailed her and she said she'd just joined a few weeks ago! At that point, I let her know I was doing it too. We're both closet cases since we both feel like everyone is staring at us or will criticize our food choices throughout the process. We're keeping each other's secret for now.

My inner-circle has widened to include two more.

I think it might be time to tell others in my life, but not quite yet. At first, I really didn't want anyone to know, in part, because what if it didn't work for me? Then I'd be, quite literally, a big fat flunky. Now that I've lost just about 50#'s I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to share. I've got two close friends who are constantly battling their weight and looking for a way to deal with it. I think my sharing with them will not only bring us closer as friends, but perhaps point them in the direction to get the help they've been wanting. There's still other reasons why I haven't shared and I'm still working my way through that.

Too thin?

Lately the people at work have been a little obsessive about my body.

At first they would make a comments like, "You look great. New hair cut? Something is different." Then it was obvious that the difference was that I had lost some weight. Then the comments turned to "Wow, you look great. How much have you lost? Are you on some kind of plan? etc." Now the comments are changing again. I've now been getting the question of "When are you going to stop? You look too thin."

The reality is, I'm still 40# over the Healthy/ Overweight BMI line. So when I tell people I plan on loosing around 50-60#'s more, they freak! They say, "oh, no. Just loose 20 more and then stop and evaluate. You'll realize your too thin and will look sick. Only loose a littlle bit more."

Granted, I have a large bone structure, so I probably would look sick if I was on the lower end of the healthy weight range. But I want to be solidly in the middle of that range. Everyone is freaking out about me wanting to get into a healthy range.

I'm trying to ignore these comments that I should only loose a little more. I know that I need to loose significantly more for my health and that this is something that is going to go on for another year or so; it's not just a quick 10-20#'s away.

I'm starting to think that it's not my weight that people are freaking out about. I think that it might be their own issues. They are so use to me being bigger than them. The thought of me being even close to the same size has them freaked out. I mentioned in an earlier blog about a co-worker who gave me a shirt to wear. She told me multiple times that day that 'she was practically swimming in it, so it should fit me just fine.' The reality is, it was big on me too. The reality is, she's not a small thing either. The reality is, she's insecure about her own body and can't admit to herself that she's not tiny.

I think this might be more of the same. I need to not listen to those people who are telling me that I'm too thin. The medical realiaty is, I'm still well above where I should be. I only need to be listening to me and my doctor.

Dr. Oz & My first Meeting

Dr. Oz (the TV doctor) joined up with WW and is doing "Transformation Nation" which basically encourages people to assess their current health on a variety of levels, get a check up by their doctor, do an official weigh in with WW and go to a free meeting. In April, you have to go back to WW and do another official weigh in.

The goal is to loose 10% of your current weight by then. Everyone who completes the various elements of the challenge is eligible to win 1million dollars.

Since I'm already doing WW, I might as well get signed up for the chance to win money! So, I went down to my local WW's and did my official weigh in and stayed for my first meeting.

I was surprised at how many people were there on a Friday morning (I took a vacation day). As you would guess, mostly older people, but there was probably 30 people there! There was even a fair number of men! I wish that I'd gone to a Saturday meeting where I'd have more of a chance of meeting people closer to my age, but that's ok.

While I was there, I checked out some of the WW products and even bought a book on vegtables and fruits. I really like this book because it talks about how to pick good produce, how to store the various vegtables, cooking tips and recipies. I also got an oil sprayer so that I could keep it in my office and get an oil portion with my lunches.

The meeting was about why we started WW and using that to keep motivated. My reasons are deep and I live it every moment, so for me, this isn't an issue.

We also talked about having a physical touchstone so that you can see your progress. Some people have a charm bracelet that they add new charms when they loose a certain amount. Others sew buttons onto their purse for each pound. Others have a jar of paperclips; one clip per pound. Something that they can see a lot and remind themselves of the work they are doing.

I was thinking about this and I don't have anything like this at all. Again, for me, I never forget what I'm doing or why; it's key to my core. But I am kinda liking the idea of somthing like this. Right now, I'm stashing money for a whole new wardrobe and a new bike. I put money aside each month into a special account based on how much I lost this month. I guess each dollar would be like a paper clip or a button. Problem is, I don't see it everyday. I can't touch it. I will think about this some more.

Day 90- WW

This is my 90th day on WW. I thought I should write a blog post about my thoughts, successes, challenges, changes, plans, etc.

Successes:
*I've lost 30 pounds!
*I fit into my old clothes again
*I've gained an awareness of my food choices and proportions
*I can run 3 miles/ 46 minutes. I couldn't run more than 10 minutes before this.

Challenges:
*My back. I strained it a little over a month ago and it took a while to get over. I worked out hard this morning. We'll see if I pay for it tomorrow.
*The weekends! I spend it with my boyfriend, who doesn't know I'm on WW and eats differently.
*Eating out. I have pretty much avoided it since starting the plan. That's not realistic.

Changes:
*Noticeably smaller waist
*Thighs are gaining some definition
*I've starting taking the extra minute in the morning to put on mascara

Plans:
*I WILL RUN a 5 or 10K in October. I will begin training next week
*The boyfriend mentioned being unhappy with his current weight, so hopefully he'll be more open to eating WW friendly foods on the weekend with me; He'll be supporting me, even if he doesn't realize it!
*I will continue to work hard and reward myself at milestones.
*I will download the nutritional information of my favorite restaurants and figure out the point values of the food. Then I will make 'cheater cards' that will fit in my wallet. Then even unplanned food stops with friends won't be so scary.

Thoughts:
Overall, I think I'm doing pretty darn good. I've consistently lost weight each week. ::crossing my fingers, not to jinx myself:: I know I'll hit a gain or a flat line at some point, but I think I'd be better able to handle it now that I've got a few weeks under my belt.

I'm looking forward to the next 90 days.